Holding on is easy. Letting go is hard.

I. DID. IT.

AHHHH!

I. LET. GO.

Oh holy crap!

I think....I think I let go. Feels like it. I'm smiling again. (of course, I've been smiling for over a month now, due to...someone. But yesterday the smile was gone. I got it back now. Due to letting go, and improvising. Hah!)

Okay, so I'm not THAT happy. But right this moment I feel SO much better. I ate something, that was important, and helped a ton. My headache is gone. I'm not lightheaded/dizzy anymore. I don't feel weak...In fact, I have an urge to get up and dance as I listen to Two Rebels...That may be because of a dream I had in which I danced with someone while they sang that song to me. It was, strange, but lovely. That was the same dream that he gave me something and said "It is mine to give to whom I will." Which totally made me think of Lord of the Rings, my favourtie movies. Because in Two Towers, Arwen says that to Aragorn when she gives him the evenstar. Ahhh. Anyways.

"And together we can run away, just YOU AND MEEEE!" Jeeze, this song is powerful for me.

Annnyways, short blog, again. I didn't get too far into Fellowship last night. I fell asleep before they even left the Shire! Before even Bilbo left! So now I'm going to try again, which means I'm getting offline soon. It's a looong movie. But it will only make me feel even better I bet.

Anyways...I'm glad he is happy now. That, at least, puts some measure of peace in me. For I was always fighting for his happiness and my own. I just didn't realize that it would entail two different roads. I don't know mine anymore. I feel like it's pointing in a specific direction, one in which I love, but...I don't want to make any promises to myself again.

I had my whole life scripted, but I'm tossing it to the side. Those words can't tell me nothing. Now I have to improvise. :) Siiigh.

Holding on is easy. Letting go is hard. <--- My best guy friend said that to me, the very first time I talked to him on the phone. I remember trying to argue with that statement, because at the time I was fighting, using all my strength to KEEP holding on. It felt hard. But he was right. That was the easiest thing...Holding on. Letting go was hard. One of the hardest things I am sure to ever experience in my entire life.

"But I know that in the end, I'll need some time to take the pen, and write a chapter on my ownnnn!"

-Brianna