Cravings

I love being happy.

I was thinking the other day, about that. Wondering if I loved him, or if I loved the happiness. Which was really sort of stupid. I wouldn't be happy if not for him. Every time I try thinking about it, and my skeptisism kicks in, I start looking for different answers. I don't know why. All reason points back to him. There is absolutely no way I can deny it when I see him. It's impossible to think about in those moments. My feelings take over and block out everything else. I don't know why I continue to question it. I think it's fear. I think I am trying to find a way out, a hidden passage that will lead away from it all when the happiness turns on me. But it won't turn on me. I don't think it will. Even if it's like a thirst that is never quenched, I will always retain this happiness. At least I...feel so.

Thinking is a bitter sweet thing. Sometimes it's best not to think. But other times logic is the best tool a person can posess (<--- Think I spelt that wrong, hah.) I suppose it's only the matters of the heart in which your mind knows absolutely nothing. I don't know if there is any right and wrong when it comes to loving. There's no such thing as too much love. But maybe too little.

Ahh hm...

I don't know what else to talk about. This is going to be a short post! Yay! I need to go to sleep soon anyways. Woke up earlier then I am used to today, so I'm needing some quality time with my pillow. Hah that sounds really odd. Oh well.

"She said "I know he's your best friend, but you're the one I wanted." Then she reached for my hand and I started to lose control. We both care about him, so how could we so careless? It's a no win situation. Either way we're going to lose. It's a no win situation, falling in love with you." - No Win Situation by Honor Society.

Hm, yeah I'm also stressing over being able to see them again. If my sister takes me to see a certain someone in Nashville in January, (Whoa, certain someone just tweeted hah.) But yeah if she takes me then there is NO way she will take me to see them later on in January/February unless they come here. And they won't. It will be Nashville, Atlanta, Maybe Charlotte, Birmingham...All 3-4 hours away. She won't do it. My mom can't. My dad never would, except maybe for Nashville. I don't know if anyone else will be going or not. Maybe if any of my friends go to see them when they come around here we could go together, but that's still a long shot. Most won't be on weekends, and none of my friends go on weekdays. I know it won't kill me to go without seeing him, but my heart is yearning for him. Constantly. Just to see his contradicting eyes face to face, and hear his laugh first hand. To feel his arms around me. To smell him. Just to have a conversation, simple and sweet. It's rather strong, craving him.

Ohhhh this is unimportant. Got a bestie break down going on. Byeeeee!

-Brianna